Ok, summer is well under way so I am catching up on reality TV (RT) via Hulu and the somewhat more sketchy internet streaming sites. RT is kind of my guilty pleasure (meth addiction) which I happily share with anyone even mildly receptive to the idea. Nonetheless, if I mention I had watched an episode of Top Model or Hell’s Kitchen to someone who isn’t familiar with my dependency, I inevitably get a dog tilt in response. Look, I dunno what to tell you, if it is a mystery to you why RT is entertaining then, I daresay, you re underestimating the entertainment value of self-inflicted humiliation. Watching 10-16 fucking idiots humiliate themselves over petty, stupid, manufactured, interpersonal drama brought on by a lack of sleep and access to limitless alcohol is the TV drama equivalent of mainlining heroin.
The shit I watch pretty much falls into one of three categories: some sort of skills based adventure quest (The Mole, Amazing Race), a 16 week job interview (Top Model, Hell’s Kitchen), and the high school model dramarama (Top Model, True Beauty).
Anyway, my current list of faves:
- True Beauty SE2. Unsurprisingly, Tara Banks is an exec producer of this show because after doing a kajillion seasons of Top Model I think they finally realized why we watch that shit to begin with: it’s not the modeling, it’s the constant interpersonal drama. True Beauty is the distilled, 180 proof version of Top Model.
- Hell’s Kitchen. This is starting to wear on me, this shit is always the same except that Ramsay gets “whackier”. I may have to drop this one because all of the contestants are just blending at this point.
- Top Shot. This show is fucking terrible but I enjoy watching all of the big ego retards get butthurt over everything. Wha, my beretta is not a glock. Also, COLBY, Jesus you suck.
- Solitary. Actually, I dunno, it is kind of interesting. Like, I kind of like the deprivation aspect of the game where contestants just fuck with themselves but it lacks the critical component of alcohol-fueled idiots sparring off over bullshit interpersonal drama. I will give it a few more episodes.
- Pawn Stars. Antiques Roadshow sucked because it never had any guns or powerboats. I am such a redneck.
