My next door neighbour locked herself out of her home the other day when she went to take out the trash. I gave her a drive up to her daughter’s school so she could get her daughter’s set of keys. On the drive over we engaged in some normal small chat. At some point the topic came up that her daughter had gotten in some trouble over some misbehaviour. Well, specifically, her daughter had apparently lent her friend her mobile phone and said friend then sent some nasty text messages to another girl. The phone got confiscated and the daughter got into some trouble over it. The mother commented that maybe she was going to keep the phone and not return it to the daughter as punishment. She further commented that her daughter was acting out and doing things that she, the mother, didn’t like and she was considering ramping up the punishments. I commented that it wasn’t so much the punishments that acted as a barrier but the ratio of risk versus reward. Don’t ramp up the punishment, reduce the reward.
